Surrender 

Dream Lea has it all. Her dreams have no limit. Their inordinacy blows your mind. She travels the world as her extroverted self, loving and showing kindness to everyone she meets. She sees the people nobody sees. She has arms ready to embrace anyone. She understands and is tolerant. She is forgiving and unbashful. She is emotional and sensitive, but strong and courageous.

Dream Lea is a doctor with a strong character. She can cure anyone with anything. She allays the fears of her patients and never gives up on them. She has their best interest in mind, and saves the world one day at a time. She is ambitious, and her patients love her so much.

Dream Lea is a teacher, a writer, a dancer, and a leader. She expresses herself eloquently and can do anything she sets her mind too. She succeeds at it all and betters humanity in the process. She is a role model for future generations for persevering and having an unwavering faith.

She will get a full ride to her dream college because of her character. In that place she will have community beyond compare. She will start great projects and meet ambitious people all around the globe. She will spend a lot of time in nature and do everything she loves. She dances her heart away and captivates her audience one day, and another day she sings in church and blows everyone away. She is famous in her community, and gets to know every person she comes by. She finds happiness through worship in all of its forms.

Maybe I have 2 choices. I could have the life I have always dreamed. Or I could choose to just be me—the girl who cries when she gets called on in English. The clumsy girl who could never dance for real so just dances around the perimeter of her favorite teacher’s classroom. The girl who will never sing as loud as she does in her room while doing pointless homework. The girl who freely dreams but always falls. The girl who fails tests but gets up again. The girl who doesn’t have perfect grades, who might end up at a local college, but finds joy in thrifted masterpieces and petting hamsters in history class. The girl who will never be perfect, and will never be famous. The girl who has a few close friends and is misunderstood by the rest.

God, I’ve always wanted to be this super amazing Christian who is so amazingly talented at everything that   I am famous and successful and known for you. But I think now I’m willing to accept that all my dreams may not be what you have in store for me. Maybe I’m only ever going to be as good as I’m going to get. Maybe I’ll never be better than me. 

And I just want to tell you that if I am meant to be that imperfect girl who can’t do everything, I will stop trying to be so good at everything and I will accept her and love her and bloom for you as her with my entire life, forever. I know your future for me is better than what I have planned anyways God. 

💜

Inspired by chapter 77 in The Invisible Girls by Sarah Thebarge

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