A Random Poem Written at 11pm By Lea 

I think that life knocks you down so hard sometimes

And then it knocks the wind out of you and your face.

It’s like watching waves crash upon the shore

It has such a calming effect

Except when you’re stuck in the middle of them.

 

You see the beauty on the outside

But in the middle, you’re trapped amidst fear and doubt.

I think sometimes I hold on to my performance  like its worth more than me

And when I don’t measure up the ocean slowly devours me

The tears begin to fall and I toss and turn and scream

I’m stressed and I’m stressed and desire to be free

I want to be myself and find peace.

I think sometimes I’m blind, incomplete

I can only see the tests I have tomorrow when there’s so much more to reach

I am tested and I fail, and I try and I fail, and I take a deep breath and try again only to crash

hard against rocks that split my head open, tossed through the current of the unknown where it all comes out

My true motives and desires.

All the pride I once felt from anything I’ve done gushes out and the water comes in

Washing away the corroded bits of my maze

The thoughts that have been eroding me

that I should have jettisoned long ago into space.

Does the tide ever calm? I wonder

At the end of the day.

And then everything that’s left of me washes up onto the surface

The parts of me that matter

And the pieces of my head once astray find each other

They begin to mend.

Finally, she picks herself up and tries again

Holding her ground in defense against stress

This time a little bit stronger.

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