“By your spirit I will rise from the ashes of defeat, the resurrected king is resurrecting me…”
I wonder how much of what weighs me down isn’t mine to carry.
Easter was 2 weeks ago. That was the day of the great exchange, where Jesus took our sins upon himself and in return instilled in us his righteousness. Now, if we believe that he is alive we also believe that we are alive. And if he is alive, we should be living our lives like he is alive. We should live knowing that we are loved and enough. We should live like we’re set free.
Then why is it that we still carry so much bondage with us? He has forgotten our past, so why do we still feel guilty? It’s like there are demons trapped inside our heads wanting to keep us stuck in our ruts of sin and negativity. There are voices in our heads telling us that we are failures, that we have to be stunning and amazing in order to be worth something when we are already worth so much simply as ourselves. Jesus paid an unimaginable price for us on the cross, making our beauty indescribable. There is no room here for guilt and shame. It doesn’t matter how hard you work because the biggest challenge is letting down your pride and realizing that your hard work will never amount to the amazing things God has in store for you.
He promises peace and prosperity. We don’t need to conquer our fears, because he already did. We have every reason to live with our heads here high, even when walking through floods and fires. He’s going to give us the tools we need to get through this. Our joy should look something like this:
Yet we often forget and lose sight of where we’re going. We still feel broken and empty, because we are human. Our bondage and fears consume us, and we take our eyes off of God. When we try to do it all by ourselves, we look like this:
I want to believe that my intelligence comes from you. I want to believe that I can ace these AP exams and finals by myself, with my own hard work. But I am learning that on my own my intelligence cannot sustain itself, and if I am ever going to get anywhere in life I need to rely solely on you.
So for the millionth time, I am laying down my future. I am laying down my past failures and scars. They are not mine to carry. As the next few weeks become hectic, help me to know that my performance on these tests are not mine to carry either. When I look in the mirror, help me to not see who I am and what I’ve done, but who you are and everything you’ve done for me.